MY HAND IN YOURS ;

Monday, February 12, 2007 ;

too many times, it's as if leaders try so hard to be leaders that they forget to simply be your friend. and i think that's really sad.

yes, i know there is a place and time for preaching. but sometimes, all we need and want is just a listening ear. that's all. we just need to get some things out of our system and we'll be fine.

you try so hard. no, you try too hard. the saddest thing? you try and you try and you try but you still fail.

if you want your sheep to respect you, then you've gotta respect us too. favour is given from God, but respect is earned. and i'm so sorry, but you just don't have our respect anymore.

too many times we've tried to let it pass by saying 'just give her a little more time. maybe she's new. maybe she just needs to adjust.' but we're over that bull. sorry to be so frank.

really, how to trust you anymore? everything is going wrong and you don't even realise. if you do, then you're just not doing anything about it and that just makes it worse doesn't it? :)

being a leader is not all about putting up your best front. you can't wear a mask forever. in the end, you will still need people to respect you for who you are, not for the mask that you wear.

so what if you happen to have it all together on the outside? that's just the surface. who cares about how you look when you walk past other leaders? who cares how well you speak when you're sharing the message? who cares how many TYS answers you can give us when we truly are seeking sound advise?

sometimes it seems like you just don't get it. no. read my lips. you do not get it. it's basic respect my dear. you may be our leader, but remember what you told me? that we will always be your friends?

how can there be no mutual respect between friends? even then, it's a fact that you are the youngest among all of us, and you should at least respect that. we know that God is no respector of age, but we're not asking to be leader over you. we just want some respect.

it's so hard to respect you, so hard to trust you anymore. the choices you make when problems are presented to you, the way you even act. seriously, to describe it in just one word? BIMBO. you suit your own cheer.

wednesday's a day which i really fear will come now. to know that you're gonna be there just makes things a whole lot WORSE. i really pray you do get a revelation about the verse in Ecclesiastes where it says there's a time for everything. cos i hope you know that everything includes When To Shut The Hell Up.

i still want to love you. i still want to trust you. i still want to respect you. i still want to give you the benefit of the doubt. i still want to be able to be proud when i tell people that you are my leader. i still want to be able to thank God for you in my life.

i hope to God that you don't ruin yourself this wednesday. it scares me, the thought of it. because, if he goes, you do know that it will take a looooong time for us to get over it right? and i hope you know how i can be when i am pissed off. please be careful.

look at it this way. the only reason why we're still around is because we love the sheep. (: yes, it's the sheep, not you.

sometimes i do wonder. do you even get it that we're just falling apart? hahah, anointed? more like anything anyhow any way.

i don't even know what to say to you anymore. it's like you wouldn't even really care, you only want to preach. that's not what leaders are all about. preaching. have you really forgotten to be our friend?

i just want what's best for my sheep. what about you? what happened to "only the best would do amen"? or did you just say that because it's like a politically correct answer?

don't you even realise that he needs sooooo much more time in practice before he can even be raised up to serve in such a platform ministry? or don't tell me your brain is that empty that just because we don't step onto a platform, you don't think it's a platform ministry?

dammit, he isn't even teachable. do you get that? you don't know every single thing just because you're a leader you know. why else do leaders need wise counsel? you don't have it all together just because you are a leader. can't you be real?

if you cannot be real and open with us, how the hell do you expect us to be real and open with you? like you expect us to tell you everything about ourselves. gosh what happened to sensitivity. what happened to genuine care and concern. you just want to know so you would have the chance to preach again.

YES! that is what i think of you now! i cannot stand it anymore!

i mean, look at it this way. nobody is trying to compete with you. so i'm really sorry that alot of times, i 'sort of' get more 'popular'. i didn't go looking for the 'popularity' please.

what shall we as sheep now do, when the shepherd herself does not know the way.

i am so glad that God is my leader, pastor Prince is my leader. not you. hahah yes i am sorry but i don't even see you as my leader now.

i mean, i will still listen to you, still submit to what you want. but that doesn't mean i have to respect or trust you or tell you everything about my life. trust me, not telling you wouldn't have me lose out on anything.

and, you have bad breath.

WE WILL DANCE ; 10:35 PM