OH GOSH OH GOSH. ((:
FAVOUR FOUND ME.
people do you know that it's real. it's really really real, tried, tested and proven.
i mean, come on! like, a month? okayy i'm not gonna share details now but all you need to know, is that it's REAL.
yes, i don't need to find favour, because Favour FOUND ME. =)
thank You, Sweetie Poo.
You're the Best!
WE WILL DANCE ; 8:52 AM
oh Lordy Lord. be my personal motivation for my eight days left of work. =) really really. and be my personal bubbling overflowing joy too.
i really want to enjoy this. (:
WE WILL DANCE ; 10:28 AM
maybe i shouldn't have bothered, cos now that i read it it really affected me although i know i shouldn't let some stuff affect me but it does.
maybe.... we just wanted to have fun and enjoy each other?
sometimes i think i think too much. okay let me correct myself. sometimes i know i think too much. and many times i also think i know too much.
it's kinda hard to express alot of things, kinda hard to supress alot of things.
but i have to learn somehow.
and please my dear. you aren't the only one having a hard time.
just because people don't show it doesn't mean they're not really tired, doesn't mean that they're really as happy as they seem.
sometimes i don't know anymore.
anyways, i really don't know. don't know how, dont' know when, don't know why, don't know what.
i just don't know, God.
and that's why i need You. i really do.
i was reading all my august posts in babu's blog, and it suddeny struck me, i want to be that hungry again.
no, maybe i want more. there are so many things to clear up. so many things to settle. so many so many things.
but i'm so tired Daddy.
let me sleep on Your shoulder again? let me rest my head in that perfect spot between Your shoulder and neck, and just let me cry. let me fit my fingers between Yours, let me cling to Your arm, let me rest my cheek against Yours.
all over again. all over again let me feel the tingle down my spine of when we used to run at the beach with the wind in our hair, hand in hand, with the sand between our toes and the sea water on our skin.
surprise me again, or rather, open my eyes to see. those daily surprises where You came from behind and hugged me, where You would come from behind and just take my hand.
it's so hard to live in this world, to live in this world without You, without Your presence, without having You around me constantly. without me being conscious of You.
hold me again. woo me again. =) i love that feeling. heee i promise i won't play hard to get this time. (:
*exhales.
okayy. You made me feel better already, just by sitting here with me and watching me blog. =) it's just You, You know. it's like, no one else could ever make me feel this way.
something so simple, a mere presence, the mere act of sweeping my fringe into place, and You capture my heart again, make me a blushing little silly giggly girl again, make me fall in love again, make me a princess again.
somehow when You're around, i just can't take my eyes off You. =) yes, You've won my heart.
(: thank You, Lovey Poo Poo. You always always know how to make me smile. smile and mean it.
=) thank You for wiping my tiredness away.
sing me to sleep again, tonight.
i miss Your sweetest voice whispering in my ear, how much You love me, how much You've missed me today, how much You loved seeing me smile, how beautiful i am to You, how much You want this moment to last forever, how You never want to let me go, how much it thrills You to make me smile. (:
woww. how could i not love You, You silly irresistable Poo Poo. (: there was never and there will never be a more perfect shoulder for me to lean on. (:
i loviieee You, my Darling. =) i loveee You because i can't help it. (: every single thing You do catches my heart and melts it.
You're sweeter than cotton candy. (:
behold You have come over the hills, upon the mountain, just for me You came. (:
my Loves, aishiteru.
but You still love me more. (:
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:48 AM
dearest sweetest Lovey Poo Poo.
thank You so much so much for always taking the time to untangle me, for never giving up on me no matter how many times i blow it. =)
You saw my worth, when i was nothing at all. and yes, You are so mighty, so mighty, so mighty to save.
(: thank You that as big as You are, You always choose to come down to as small as i am, and willingly too.
oh You, You Who have won my heart. =) though all good things come from Your hand, my miracle is You. thank You for Your power to save, for Your radical gift of love.
Otosan, aishiteru.
Your sweetest and most precious,
Himechan.
p/s. thankies for making me smile! ((:
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knowing that you can't ever run away from the Mightiest Being in the entire universe is so comforting when you know that He's running after you just to grab you in His embrace and tickle you to see your smiling face.
WE WILL DANCE ; 12:04 PM
alrights, i've not blogged for quite some time once again! =) so, a picture speaks a thousand words aye? heheh here you go then. read to your hearts' content!
beautiful feet with beautiful shoes. (: vanvan, rachiee, bokbok!
charis lin, cai hua, and yuki. do you know how precious the three of you are to me!! the honey water was exceptionally sweet, because it was given to me by the three of you sweetie pies. ((:
it's an adidas thing.
yeah, so what! =DD
i really forgot what we were trying to prove?
somehow i like this photo. =)
aye there! peeping nic and peeping bok! ohno! peeping at WHO!
we work there, and it's tiring.
our successful mid-air!!! YEAY!!
after a loooonnggggg day of cam-whoring, we decide to cam-whore even more. yes, that's why we're girls. ;p
=) i really loved my today. marina bay, steamboat bbq, arcade, jurassic park, photo hunt, bishi bashi, mountain of prawns, jumping while peeling hot prawns, flying hot oil, big fat rat, ziming's toe, hi chew teeth, phone calls in the office, trying to find black nail polish, photo-taking in the train (nic i want the photos!), squeezing on the bus, stupid ah bengzxzxz, scary steve, clap clap clap and whatever else i missed out. =)
i lovelove.
evan, rach, nic, amy, steve, gege, ziming, yongjeee.
special, special people. (:
WE WILL DANCE ; 1:13 PM
give me time?
WE WILL DANCE ; 8:23 AM
looking silly in macs! =) my sister and i. wahahahah!
yah okay we're young at heart can!! =D and omg lah the stupid dog hugged us so tight we couldn't breathe. chee koh pek dog!
i love this photo. =) my belonging E and my belonging R.
how can we not love evan? =)))
and the guys(:
bubbles are absolutely fun ((:
yes nic wore my heels.
look look!! my burger is standing! =D
and the box tried to eat me. =(
and we all love ronald don't we? actually no i really hate clowns and painted faces.
okay there were supposed to be so many more photos. blogger said i'd successfully loaded them but they're not appearing and i want to sleep.
another time ok? =) and babu shut up about the indescent photo. you babu you.
all the shit i've done put together can never overwrite the favour of God in my life. (: i'm so secure Lord, You make me so secure.
WE WILL DANCE ; 11:05 AM
Daddy oh Daddy. =( i know You will make all this better. somehow.
* when sorrow tries my hope to steal
to worship i have reason still
scarlet Hands
that bled for me
Servant King
my everything
Jesus, wipe my tears away, cos i don't want to cry.
WE WILL DANCE ; 8:28 AM
(: i haven't blogged for so long, i decided that the best way to fill everyone in is PHOTOS. (: yayyyy!
our back views in the mirror of the ngee ann lift at block-i-forgot-what. =) i love the two of you, you know(:
evan evan(: you're an angel.
look look at our handsome cg guys!! handsome is really handsome right. HAHAH whatever. (: they are super precious though i still love the babes more. ;p
why is it SO hard to take mid-air shots?? ahahahahah but but but we had so much fun, i wouldn't even mind doing it a million times over.
something knocked us down. i think it was ziming's good looks? HAHAHAHAH ohhhhh bokkkkk.
after praise and worship night, at east coast macs.
i was in the Toyota car! =D and yes Jesus renews youth. we are the evidence!
suika was so proud of the hiro chocolate cake i bought for him! and gege was so proud of the sweets i brought him. (: so they decided to take a photo! heeee. before praise and worship started.
and yes, i love you. so sue me. (:
esther ann, you are such a darling. (:
yesyes i know there are a thousand and two more photos to show off to the world, but i'm tired. =) tired but happy. =)
and i so cannot wait for my TB33 chalet. (: i looooooooove. ernest, diana, van. know that i really really miss you three. =)
samm i miss you.
and i have something for you too. ((:
WE WILL DANCE ; 4:38 AM
boohoooo. i'm quite upset. i can't upload my photos and i really did want to, because that's the best way to show off how much fun i had the past few days.
but that's alright. i will show off some other time. bleahhh.
WE WILL DANCE ; 11:52 PM
i don't know. i thought that was okay.
so now who's going to tell me "i think you thought who confirm"?
okay no don't tell me.
i'll bite.
no, i'll slap your face.
on a sidenote, i miss school ):
Otosan, tetsudatte kudasai. i need You.
WE WILL DANCE ; 11:21 AM
=) saturday was good. really good. heeheee.
shopping with jiejie was crazy. yes i love your favourite shopping place and it's one of my favourites now too. we shall go again soon. ;p
i love my bright red top and my super nice white bag. and I WANT THOSE BAGS FROM THE DESIGNER'S CORNER. i don't care.
Jesus says all that i see is mine. i saw them, and i even touched them. those bags are mine man. they're MINE!
left at about 1650hrs to rush down and join the rest at jamming. (: sorry people. heee.
sorry steve. didn't mean to "fa xiao jie pi qi" but i was just like hot and sticky and sweaty.. and the bags were heavy. haa! (:
but really, thanks for coming out to fetch me in. (:
so, jamming. AHAHA i think yongjeee got abit scared? hehe am i really that scary? cos i seriously don't think so okay! i'm such a nice girl hello... =D
but yeay i had my fun. (: Saviour, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. forever, Author of Salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave.
hahh wow i love handsome ziming. (: so cute lah! waving his silly sticks in the air. HAHAH it's funny. if his hair gets any longer he can be handsome fourhill.
people, let's go jamming together again. the same people who were there yesterday. (: oh please add bei in too. heheh!
at Four Tones this time please? ahahah so that amy can at least sit inside with us. (:
after jamming we were supposed to have dinner at MOSburger. but first they forced me to take the lift at national library!
hahaha okok so they didn't force but. yah. hahah ok if you didn't already know i'm freakin' scared of heights.
yes, once, my cg forced me to take the pan pac lift with them. =( hahahah i cried. omg right! but Jesus loves me still even when i'm so kuku. ;p
okok back to the point, there was no space in MOSburger, so we wanted to go to Sakae. (you know, i've never eaten there before)
but no space also!!
so, pasta mania. ((: funny nic lent rach and i his super cool accesories and i will post the photos once i get them! SUPER COOL!
but oh shucks we forgot to take the back view photo rach! ARGH! and the escalator one!! OH NO!
umm well. soon okie? hahahaa. it was totally photo crazy day. and obviously they caught it from evan, rach and i please!
HAHH we were having photo craze since friday. hahahhh!! when i get those photos i'll put them up too. super high. SUPER.
ahh i love! ((: all the mid-airs and blurred photos, all the poser photos and the backviews, oh and the guys series! omg! hahah damn cool.
yes and amy and i are so amazed by the parkview place. cos it's just so damn beautiful. omg lah i want to have my wedding there! it's sssoooooo pretty!
the exterior garden, the interior, the walls, the ceiling, the decor, the everything! the freakin' cool stage where the beautiful grand piano is. DAMN COOL!
okay so after photos photos photos, there was tau huay tau huay tau huay! omg rach i'm so glad you came to join us!
ahh and i'm sorry for getting so moody over my phone. but it's just that my phone is my baby. so i was really sad.
gosh i didn't tell you! i was alot sadder when i got home, because in the light, i could really see that it was ALOT worse than it seemed in the dark. i wanted to cry. my baby is disfigured. =(
Daddy, i want a new one. baby's been with me for over a year now. it's the first time he ever got a single scratch. =( baby i still love you though.
tau huay is so nice! (: then we went home.
the train ride was.. interesting. hilarious. amazing. hahahah with nic around, it's almost impossible not to laugh. laugh ALOT. i have my 60pac now.
hahahahahahahhahah des!!! "the behind one absorb the energy then go home and let it out." HAHA!!! OMG NIC WHY YOU SO FUNNNY!!!
don't know what, "flick it then it hit the window then the window break."
HAHAHAH wah lao nic your imagination amazes me. and please, the ex-girlfriend!! OMG LAH! ahahhh you are funny lah! pink nails and all. HAHA!!
okay no lah, actually nic is like Jesus. yesterday today and forever the same, in black. HAHAH yah black nails and all, but please his accesories are damn cool.
filifala nice to wear you know! still got the bullet thing, can take out one. oh manzxzxzx. wassup! hahahah so excited to get the photos!! hahah!
heee alrights then. =) let me go get ready for church now! ((: yes, my Daddy is sending me there. (:
*though all good things come from Your hand, my miracle is You. Daddy, aishiteru.
WE WILL DANCE ; 6:17 PM
edit(030806 1011h): bok is in her office and there is no interent connection. she says not to worry. she isn't thinking of killing herself. she was just recounting something from sec 1. jesus has died for her and she will not need to die. the only die she will ever think of is dyeing her hair. -oinkypig
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read Genesis 22:11-13.
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a little girl, crouching by the side of her bed, all alone. her tears fell like the rain, collecting at her chin and wetting her knees.
the tears blurred her vision, but the silvery glint of the small blade lying on her right palm still caught her eye. her chin quivered.
looking up into the darkness, she ensured that no one was around to watch her.
the tears fell faster as she gripped the blade firmly with her shivering fingers. slowly and steadily, she raised her left arm and set it on her knee.
she gazed down at her wrist, scattered with thin red lines. her entire left arm, she realised, was covered with those horrible thin red lines.
her lip turned up in a scoff, "there are so many already, what difference would a few more make?"
she paused for a few seconds, as if unsure of what to do next. then, like a clockwork toy, she pressed the blade against her skin.
as sudden as lightning in the sky, a strong voice, which was, apparently, audible to her and her alone, sounded out.
"Amanda! Amanda!"
her eyes widened, and she jerked her head up in shock to look around her. then she heard the voice speaking again.
"lay down the blade," the voice said. "do not hurt yourself in any way. I have not with held even My Beloved Son from you."
she raised her tear-stained face to look out of the window and towards the dark night sky.
then she saw it. she saw Love, hung upon an old rugged cross. when He saw her, His lips turned up into a smile which erased every hurt from her heart.
such peace she felt, such serenity, oh such love that surrounded her and took away her fears. such power that swept across her, such passion that encompassed her.
at that moment, time seemed to stand still as she gazed into the gentle eyes of Love. just by His gaze she knew that she meant more than anything in the whole wide world to Him.
His gentle gaze was full of passion, full of care and love for her, and it made her feel like she was the only one He ever loved, it made her feel like a Princess all over again.
His gaze poured emotion back into her heart, poured strength back into her body, poured love back into her empty soul. she could feel again, love again, trust again, fly again, live again.
His gaze set her free, and in an instant she was dancing in open fields with bright flowers and fresh grass everywhere, calm rivers and apple trees.
she was dancing under open heavens, in the arms of Love Himself. she lifted her head to see the blue blue sky and the white cotton candied clouds, and a beautifully unbroken rainbow. (: the biggest she'd ever seen.
a smile formed on her lips, and soon, laughter bubbled from within. she could feel it, she was joyful once again. (: in the arms of Love, she knew no fear, no worry, no condemnation, no rejection.
then she was back to the foot of the cross. once again, she lifted her gaze to look upon Love, and smiled a teary-eyed smile at the One who gave His all for her.
He tilted He head and smiled back.
then, He lifted His head and cried out, with a loud and triumphant voice, "IT IS FINISHED!"
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and i can't help love You more
when more and more i see
how much i mean to You
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thank You, Jesus. thank You for Your radical gift of love. Your peace shall be my lullaby.
WE WILL DANCE ; 7:08 AM