Thursday, December 30, 2004 ;

and so once again, its all my fault when i didn't even do anything.

thanks. thanks SO MUCH.


WE WILL DANCE ; 9:41 PM






tomorrow... i dont even know what's happening.

aahhhh... people should learn to plan their stuff properly lah!!! its so darn irritating when things are just left hanging. like, wah lao.

dunno man, but i feel very irritated all of a sudden. like.. some people are not even close to you and they want to pry into your life and dig out all the little details and secrets that you dont even tell your close friends. how sickening is that?!

and some people just want to make your life difficult, just want to give you a hard time, just want to irritate you. and when it all adds up, they better watch it.

*exhales deeply*

oh well.. forget it.


WE WILL DANCE ; 9:33 PM






right. i am peeling. my face looks patchy. thank you Jesus for restoration. =)


WE WILL DANCE ; 8:13 PM






ni yong yuan yong yuan bu ting de ai wo
wo wei rou shi ni fu chi wo
ni de ai he deng wei da qi miao
ni yong bu li kai wo
shi zhong bu li qi wo

ni shuo wo shi ni xing ai de ren
wo de yi ju yi dong
ni duo guan huai
ni ai wo zhi dao tian yang hai jiao
yan yu bu neng shu shuo ni de da en

ni dai zhuo wo de shang heng you chou
zai shi zai shang bao xie xi jing wo zui
wo xing ling bei geng xing
feng xia sheng ming wo ling shuo

ye shu wo ai ni
sheng sheng de ai ni
yin wei ni xian ai wo
wo zui yi de she mian
wo xin yi de an wei
da ai zhen jiu le wo

yes. its in han yu pin yin. yes yong jie.. finally. thank me, thank me!!
wah praise God leh. i thought i would never be able to do this. heh. but anyhoo it wasn't me, but the Jesus in me.

so shawn, it wouldn't hurt to throw me in china you see. =D after all.. i DID get a distinction for my 'o' level chinese oral. =) heh ok fine so that was grace and mercy. but hey, they follow me around all the days of my life!



WE WILL DANCE ; 8:01 PM






okay so maybe i am being too nice to them. i mean, hey. its their own fault, and they still dare to get pissed and me and even show me attitude! what is this! no joke lah, my patience really has its limits okay. dont take me for granted just because i seem to be so nice and whatever all the time. gosh.. please be more appreciative lah! dont wait until everyone is gone from your lives then start regretting. that'll be too late. no more chances from me. i mean, this is it man. you have pushed me to the end already. now, too bad.

anyways.. update on the past few days... (which by the way have been really really fun)

on monday, part of my gang went to spend time at sentosa. we had a beautiful time together! thanks guan, for being on time, thanks des, for the ball and for making the effort to come down, thanks deyan and nick, for the wonderful soccer and captain's ball time, thanks john, for getting lunch and helping out during captain's ball, and thanks valen, for the fun! =D

on tuesday, i did nothing. haha i just pigged about at home. and relaxed, and cool off my skin which has become really dark after monday. =D basically just bummed around lah.

on wednesday, i met a few others of my gang for a movie, and denise too. we watched kungfu hustle, which provided us some comic relief. thanks to denise, guan, deyan, seetoh, john, shawn and des for the great time! esp guan. =D i really love you babe!

and now its thursday morning.. 2am. =D there's gonna be a party at the twins' house later this evening at about 6.30pm.. actually i'm not really sure that i wanna go. i mean.. who's going lah! [haha for those who get what i mean... heh.. ssshhhh...]

i had an awesome time with my cousin this evening. or should i say yesterday evening?aahhh.. bok, dont be crappy. anyways.. =) i really love her lots man. she's just so precious to me! i might be going to hong kong soon to spend more time with her, but that depends lah. though i really will miss her when she goes back to hong kong.

but oh wells... here are some verses i found meaningful...

proverbs 11:9 Evil words destroy one's friends; wise discernment rescues the godly.

proverbs 12:1 To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

proverbs 12:15 Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.

proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.

proverbs 13:14 The advice of the wise is like a life-giving fountain; those who accept it avoid the snares of death.

proverbs 13:18 If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you will be honoured.

proverbs 15:12 Moockers don't love thos who rebuke them, so they stay away from the wise.

proverbs 15:31, 32 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at ome among the wise. If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.

=) i love proverbs. there's just so much to learn, and i get something new everytime i read that lovely book!


WE WILL DANCE ; 3:16 AM




Wednesday, December 29, 2004 ;

1 . First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to eat chocolate. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

3. Add 5. (for Sunday)

4. Multiply it by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1754. If you haven't, add 1753.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are.......... YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!)

haha!! cool yeah? it really works lah.

*courtesy of ashy boy...


WE WILL DANCE ; 1:44 AM






you say i'm too nice to them.

but then again, isn't everyone just as forgiven and loved?




WE WILL DANCE ; 1:09 AM




Tuesday, December 28, 2004 ;

Do you know the meaning of this season
Past the tinsel and the lights
Past festivities and laughter

Its the story of an ageless love
For God so loved the world
He gave His only Son

For the babe born in Bethlehem
Was a gift from God became the Son of man
Who took away my sin and pain
At the cross

Love is now within me
Christ's His name
He is the reason i celebrate and praise
Love's revealed His glory
Grace came down, dewlt among us
Gave His life to redeem us
Brought eternal peace and joy
Joy to the world
Love's come down

He's the greatest love i've ever known
He raised me out of my despairs
Gave me hope for my tomorrows

Despite my unbelief and doubt
My Jesus HE has sought me out
In my weakness it's His strength that leads me on
For no one else can comprehend
My thoughts and fears not known to man
It's His perfect love that's cast out all my fears

Love is now within us
Christ's His name
He is the reason we celebrate and praise
Love's revealed His glory
Grace came down, dwelt among us
Gave His life to redeem us
Brought eternal peace and joy
Joy to the world
Love's come down


***


WE WILL DANCE ; 5:38 PM




Monday, December 27, 2004 ;



WE WILL DANCE ; 3:16 AM






shyt. c'mon! bok! its christmas! what's wrong with you?!

*dammit... why am i so... frustrated? irritated? pissed off?*

Jesus, Your peace.

HELP ME HERE...


WE WILL DANCE ; 12:05 AM




Tuesday, December 21, 2004 ;

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would one day walk
On water

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would save our sons
And daughters

Did you know
That your baby boy
Has come to make you new

This child
That you delivered
Will soon deliver you

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will give sight
To a blind man

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will calm the storm
With His hand

Did you know
That your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod

When you kiss
Your little baby
You kiss the face of God
Oh Mary did you know

Ooo...

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Would one day rule the nations

Did you know
That your baby boy
Is Heaven's perfect Lamb

This sleeping child
You're holding
Is the great
I Am

***




WE WILL DANCE ; 1:17 PM




Monday, December 20, 2004 ;

heya all. =D this was sent to me by one of my friends in choir. i think its so meaningful and touching. =D

"DANCE WITH GOD

When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, andeverything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

However, when one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE.

When I saw "G," I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i." "God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God as God abides in you. Dance with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

I HOPE YOU DANCE."

yup. =D so, dance.

*_ BOK


WE WILL DANCE ; 6:03 PM




Sunday, December 19, 2004 ;



WE WILL DANCE ; 4:35 PM




Saturday, December 18, 2004 ;

hmmz... its now 5.13am, and i wonder what i'm doing awake. haha but i'm not alone man. ber's awake too! i'm chatting with her on msn now.

talk about multi-tasking man. i'm making my christmas at orchard outfit, chatting with ber and blogging. =D and i just deleted a whole lot of junk mail. =)

aaahhhh.... suddenly i forgot what i wanted to say! shoosh.. perhaps i should go offline and continue with my christmas thingy. sigh.. its 5.34am now. praise God. i'm still alive.

will be meeting shu ying later, but i'll be going to valen's house first. man.. so why dont i just meet shu ying at the void deck instead of going all the way to the mrt station?

sigh. guess my brain's not really functioning now. but i need to finish making the outfit. ah well.. soon, bok. soon you will be able to sleep.

sze sze sze.. oh my hat. that thing is now stuck in my brain, and i cant help but keep saying it! sheesh..

wow. was asked to go blading again on monday. but i forgot who asked me. so now i cant confirm the timing. but maybe i wont blade after all. maybe i'll just relax at the beach..

soak myself in the rays of sunlight and Daddy's sweet sweet presence. =D which is really relaxing. anyway i do have a few burning questions for Him...

like mama said.. i'd need all the energy for 22nd and 23rd. that's why i was conemplating on whether or not i should blade.

see first. see which decision gives me peace. =D anyway whatever it is i'll have a greatly blessed time! =D

thank You, Jesus. i walk in Your supernatural overabundant overflowing divine favour all the days of my life! =D

haha.. thank You, Lord, for great ideas and the strength to last the day!

toodles,
~BOK~


WE WILL DANCE ; 5:42 AM




Wednesday, December 15, 2004 ;

wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...............!!! =D sorry about not replying all the tags sooner. my net was down man.. =x boy was i pissed. haha but oh well, its back now so i shan't complain.

aawwww you people are so sweet you know! just a few days of not going online and i find that my tagboard has exploded. haha no space in my tag board to reply all the tags lah, so i reply here.

heya becky darling! okies! will link you yah? haha youo all have already succeeded in exploding my tagboard! anyways babe, you make me smile and laugh ALOT too! hahaha but whatever it is, please dont ever flood me on a bus or anywhere else k. =D love!

zenda dearest, you are the sweetest lah! =) love you lots yeah. how are your blading wounds? healed in Jesus' name amen? amd they won't leave ugly scars! hallelujah for the great and blessed day! i look forward to much more!

jul dearie.. i really miss you tonnes man! come back to Teenzeal wont you? (btw, we changed our name to D.A.R.E! which means dead and ressurected eagles!) miss you so much!

hey princesscia! you mean last saturday or monday? haha have been there so much these few days i'm so mixed up! i was there both days, but i only bladed on monday! and that was for around 5+hrs straight! =D dont ask how my feet are still alive, cos i have no idea too!

oh man sam!! that was just plain embarrasing! haha okok. so maybe it was just a leeetle bit fun. =) ok fine! it rocked! whahaha.. yeah i had a lovely time with you all. =) my gawd, the taxi dance... by the way dear, its masaK.. hahaha! cant wait to go marine cove again! love you!

alamak, muthu!!! what is bindi? you be blessed from the tops of you turban to the soles of your hairy feet! =D yes, muthu sir. i will link you, muthu sir!

wwaahhh van.. piggy... rhino.. =D can you please send me those band dinner photos!! chop chop! =D haha tell nas and jas to send too! hurry! =D aww.. yes i will miss all of you so much! i had loadsa fun taking pictures with all of you that day. i'll be back to visit soon, k.. dont worry! love you!

gia...! miss you so much too!! aww... so sad i couldn't make it for the class chalet.. =( will send you some prom photos when i meet you online yeah? =) love ya!

hey ber darling! yes camp was awesome! next year, you're coming with us! and you're gonna be my roomie! =) you be blessed k. dont forget the goodness of Daddy God! there's no more Teenzeal(D.A.R.E) this year, but you can come with us for sunday services! and you can come for our Christmas at orchard thingy! 22nd and 23rd of December! msg me k! love you tonnes! Jesus loves you much much more!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! wah lao, char... =( gave me such a shock!! whahahahaha!! =D what on earth's you url, dearie? haha love you!

*pouts* ding..! the wine spoil already lah..! *frowns* *pouts harder* haha no lah.. i know you had your reasons. (ahem!) anyways, just tell me lah, when you're coming over. or you could surprise me like char, and just appear at my doorstep. =D love you!

heys candice! haha yes finally.. =x wait... are you the swiss candice or the D.A.R.E candice? haha sorry about that. but i love you all the same! if you're the swiss candice, haha when do i pass you my notes and books? =D

wah... feel so loved lah! anyways, this thursday.. WHO'S FREE TO GO MARINE COVE AND BLADE YOUR HEARTS OUT?! muahahaha!! just gimme a call or msg me. we will go there and rock the place! its really super fun! then i might go back on saturday too. haha man, i'm addicted to marine cove! =)

any-o-how.. =D shall go now! =) love love everyone! muackses.

dancing with Him eternally,
~BOK~


WE WILL DANCE ; 3:41 PM




Thursday, December 09, 2004 ;

hmmz.. i dont know what i'm still doing awake at a time like this. i'm supposed to meet denise, sheryl, marisha and sister, john i think.. and a few other people to go to marine cove later. charlene, you should come along!

anyways.. was actually planning to go shopping for choir clothes, but me and my sister were like, forget it! we're not going to buy stuff! so we decided to try making. hahaha if we do succeed, i'll try to take photos and upload them. haha..

choir practice was quite fun today. not exactly sure why.. i guess it felt different, even though my throat was giving me a little problem.. but thanks to jaslyn who managed to find fisherman's friend for me, it wasn't all that bad in the end.

man.. i really want my band dinner photos lah. piggy! nas!! jasmine!!! send me the photos! quick!!! hahaha it's not as if i dont miss you all enough as it is. heh.. i'll be sure to visit, just message me the dates of band practice, and i'll try to find time to go down.

lalala.. i have no idea why lah, but lately i've just been addicted to the song "my happy ending". haha oops.. (ding, breathe.. avril's not that bad yah.) i really dont know why! its like, the moment i on the computer, i start playing the song. and i leave the dumb thing running till someone gets sick of it and tells me to shut it off. heh.. most of the time that would be my sister lah.

oh yeah and i've also been catching too much "totally spies" and "lizzie mcguire" on disney channel. is it just me, or is it too much time spent at home? haha i have no idea man. like, gosh i even watch "martin mysteries" on disney channel, and that is like, LAME. hahaha but kinda funny lah.

oh my hat.. what's with me lately huh.. i've been stuck to the computer and television, doing useless stuff and watching nonsense shows. aahhhh... wasting time... blah.. yup. haha maybe i should just find a job.

but i dont want to start working!! well, at least not yet. i mean, so much for freedom after 'o's.. hah. yeah yeah, at least i get to slack at home and all, but its not what i thought it would be like. not what i expected at all. but ah well.. i guess things change right?

and sometimes things are just beyond control. and its just times like these when you really learn to rely and lean on Daddy God, knowing that He's in control is just so comforting. such a sweet sense of silent assurance. and the peace is just ferocious. the kind that clings to your heart and never ever lets go. =) but its comforting.

that's one thing i received from camp. i was glad about that. didnt even realise i was yearning for it all along, and it was causing a hole in my heart. i guess that hole's filled now! =D

another very important thing i learnt from camp is that God will always always touch you if you want to be touched, fill you if you want to be filled, meet you if you want to be met. whether or not you feel it. even if its the very last second before you set foot on the bus to leave the hotel. He will touch you. He will.

i mean, its not as if He hasn't already given up all for you right. everything has been done, every price has been paid. for those who have watched "the passion", that wasnt all Daddy went through for you, you know. it was much, much worse.

the point is that you dont even have to understand. you dont have to get why He did what He did, why He loved you and still does, why He gave His life away. all you need to know is that He did all that just to be with you, noone else, just you.

you know, at camp.. it was great. at first, i felt like i was not receiving anything. and i got really sad, really depressed. i felt that God had forgotten me. i thought He didnt care anymore. but i was so so wrong.

i started blaming everyone and everything... nothing seemed to be going my way, and i felt like crap. i even blamed God.

but He never once gave up on me. He never once forgot about me. He never once blamed me. in fact, He was patient, He was kind, He showed me love and showered me with grace. He reminded me oh so gently about all the stuff i wanted and had already received.

you see.. i was too busy blaming everything and anything to see the blessings right in front of my face.

then, on the third and last night of praise and worship, He fell on me mightily like never before. it was quiet, but it was powerful. His shalom peace crept into every nook and cranny of my heart, and then i heard His still small voice whisper to me that i am a success in every single aspect of my life.

it repeated itself over and over again, until i was so convinced, so sure of my vicory in Christ, so firm in His word. i was so amazed. He really truly gave His best when i did nothing at all. all because He loves me.

well, i love Him too. =) i've got His peace and joy embedded deep in my heart, and that's something noone can ever ever take from me. its there to stay for eternity.

Jesus loves me.
~BOK~


WE WILL DANCE ; 5:11 AM




Wednesday, December 08, 2004 ;



WE WILL DANCE ; 5:12 PM






ok so its not just "you"... but.. its all of us. or maybe its just all the things that have been happening recently. but we seem to be falling apart. pardon me for saying this so openly, but i just had to talk about it.

is it just down to the few of us who feel sad and refuse to let go? dont the rest treasure us? is everything else more important? are we just a name so easily neglected? so.. un-precious?

then why are we so precious to me? why do the rest of us not want to let go? why do the rest of us bother to care?

why? why? why? does anyone know how much 'we' mean to me? does anyone even care? is this all there is to it? our history? our memories? nothing more? are we so easily replaced? are we expandible? (in a way)

do we not have a future? is this the end? just like that? but, why? dont any of you treasure us? aren't we important to any of you? dont we mean a thing? do we not have the slightest significance? not even the tiniest space in your hearts?

so now, we just fall apart? is that it?

i miss us. i really do.


WE WILL DANCE ; 12:27 AM




Tuesday, December 07, 2004 ;

band dinner was today. =D i didn't think it would be that fun, and i really enjoyed myself. haha i just love my section. couldn't stop taking photos with van, nas, jas, woei jin and naz. hahaha... it was fun, though the food... haha wasn't THAT bad. =)

once again, thanks ber, for all that and more. (have i told you you're a great friend?) (oh and that i love you?) haha hey babe. =D God is good amen?

also thanks to xue ting, martin and john for helping cool down when i was so super pissed this afternoon. =) i'm fine, and everything's fine. as in, really.

heh.. oh have i blogged about camp? my gosh.. i haven't. it was utterly wonderful i tell you. truely truely. =D made so many new and lasting friendships, got to know old friends better, received so much from God. truely blessed.

right now, however, i need healing for my poor ears which have suffered a great deal of torture these past few days. (those who know what i mean... you know what i mean. hahaha.. )

gosh.. really. how could anyone just go on and on? like, wow.. she breathes through her skin. truely. i have no idea how, but she does.. ah well, enough of that anyways.

camp was.. utterly amazing man. =) i now know that i know that i know beyond the shadow of a doubt that i am god's beloved and nothing's going to chamge that. i wake up everyday with the knowing that He is always with me and will catch me whenever i fall. =D cos i know that He gave His best when i did nothing at all.

oh yesh... a truely awesome testimony! on sunday, sheryl (my Beloved group member) had a fever of 39.3*c. truely high.. and when we were leaving paragon at about 10+pm, she had a stomach ache and couldn't even walk properly. i had to half carry her lah.

then suddenly i just felt the Holy Spirit tell me to lay hands and pray for her, so i did that lah, and my babes saw and also lay hands. we prayed in tongues for awhile, then i said a very short prayer. i think about three sentences or so. i was even doubting myself lah..

but teh amazing praise God thing is that a couple of minutes after the prayer, she was healed! her tummy ache was gone and her forehead had gone cold. woah... praise the Lord man! i was so stunned! like, oh my gosh, God.. You actually used me?! that kinda thing.. but like, yeah. it was darn kewl.

haha God is just truely awesome lah. and oh man, He's my Daddy! whahaha!! He's on my side, who can be against me? like a precious friend said not too long ago, i dont care if the whole world turned their backs on me, cos i know i will always have Jesus, my best friend. =D i was very touched by that lah. =)

anyways, getting late. i'll blog about camp some time soon!

Dead And Resurrected Eagle,
~BOK~


WE WILL DANCE ; 4:10 AM