Friday, October 29, 2004 ;
i cant study no more.
still... what choice do i have...
WE WILL DANCE ; 2:05 PM
Sunday, October 24, 2004 ;
=D wow it seems like a long time since i've been online yah. but oh wells.. taking another break. as anyone can simply tell, i cannot study anymore because i am just going to burst and break. no wait, i will break first before i burst right... oh crap lah bok.
man what's with me. but anyways it will all be over soon yah. one month minus one day. to the end of all my papers. even the very last one. sigh...
so near yet so far. my brother is totally in love with himself yah. hahaha crazy toot. but he should. so handsome. hahaha okay bok. breathe and shut up. like, now.
oh my gosh i am like talking to myself. right this is so scary. i should just go. oh my hat. i shall sleep now.
-sleep-
oh sheesh. forget it. goodbye.
~BOK~
WE WILL DANCE ; 12:02 AM
Monday, October 18, 2004 ;
ok so i took a break. hahaha. cos actually i promised myself i wouldnt go online till after 'o's but argh!!! cannot. -hee.. well what can i say...? hahaha what lah. i have studied already lah.
:D just finished my science 'o' level practial. ~exaperated sigh~ but still... its all because of science paper that i end my 'o's three days later than anyone else. SIGH. (as in irritated sigh) but ah well.. its easy, so. blah..
super funny... we were supposed to test for concentration of solution today lah. so use the dropper.. drip one drop by one drop.. i got the correct answer lah praise God. but then poor gia and jinna!! hahaha they got like 50+ drops and 100+ drops for the other.. but its like only 8 and 20 lah. hahaha but they will still be blessed!
anyways.. too tired to blog much. but yeah, des.. miss you lots!
tataz!
mighty (wo)man,
~BOK~
as in not that i'm confused about my gender... but i'm a mighty man. but i'm a woman lah. -doosh-
WE WILL DANCE ; 2:58 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004 ;
why am i awake? why am i awake? why am i awake? why am i awake? why am i awake?
maybe i shouldnt take mr. kamal's advice on the afternoon nappie thingys. sigh~ i have no idea what to do now. and i dont even know what subjects we're doing later because i dont have my time-table. its with deborah/sheena. sigh i forgot to collect it lah. sigh.
God! maybe now's a good time to complain?
God! i really need you! look at my results? they suck sh*t! seriously! i know i should trust in You, and that my life is already perfect in you. but Daddy iits hard. its really hard. like, i shouyld know. i'm going through it right now.
i really dont know what to do! somehow i cant seem to sit my butt down and mug. dont evem talk about mugging. i dont even want to touch my books. i dont want to go to school. i know its all for Your glory. i do want to glorify your name, but God...!
help me, really. its you or nothing. You're all i can lean on. there's noone else. look at the world. how they stare at me. how they ostracize. they critisize. and God, it hurts. i hate it, really i do. sometimes i really feel like breaking. i feel like i'm going to burst. and...
sigh. sigh sigh sigh. maybe i just need to pour it all out. but then i dont think i can take much more of this. i feel like i just wanna escape. escape from people, criterias, expectations.. the world. i just wanna be alone, be myself, not what people want me to be.
God help me. i just want to be loved, accepted for who i am. thank God for New creation church and teenzeal town. i really really love church. really.
but God, why? just one question. why?
crap.
i need to sleep now.
~BOK~
WE WILL DANCE ; 2:43 AM
hey all! =D i will be serving third and fourth for the next quarter. maybe next two. but its okay... i'm still happy and still praise God. He's still great and He still loves me and i still love Him and i'm still blessed because He loves me. =)
but of course i'll still be serving fridays lah, because of school and all that. i just ate oreo's extra cream hahaha but i took out all the cream. i have no idea why but i think that the cream spols the taste of the oreo cookie!
anyways... will someone please help me disuade my dear brother on getting a tattoo..? man, he's so intent on getting one, he even offered to pay for mine if i get one with him. *exasperated sigh* he says tattoos are cool and nice and all... yes i know they're nice but still... no need to get one right...
i mean, yes i know they're nice. i think some of them are really nice lah, but then i would never get one for the world. i dont know why, but i just wouldnt. (josh.. help!!! he's not listening!!!)
sigh... this idiot handsome boy brother of mine... sometimes i really dont know what to do with him. but he's in God's hands amen. =D i have no need to worry about him, though i admit i still do at times... i just want him to learn about grace, because that's really really important. i just really love him alot lah.
anyway, that's besides the point. haha i'm so happy that my success is Jesus and is in Him. because my results are seriously cannot make it. =D oops... but yeah... it doesnt really matter now because i know that i know that i know beyond the shadow of a doubt that Jesus loves me and i was made to be the head only and not the tail.
hallelujah! praise Jesus! =D joy unspeakable, overflowing in my soul. this heart of mine is refreshed and at rest, in Your presnce... =D so true.
so blessed i cant contain it,
~BOK~
(to talk or not to talk. that is the question.)
WE WILL DANCE ; 1:22 AM
Sunday, October 03, 2004 ;
=) ever since i got the tagboard its like i only ever tag. i dont blog anymore... hahaha sp i thought since i'm free now, why not blog again. i kinda miss it if anyone understands what i mean. =D
actually i really should be sleeping right now, having to serve first service tomorrow. hahaha and second as well. (yay~!) but it would be fun. i miss serving. i miss practice too. boo exams man! hahaha...
anyways... using my brother's lappy to blog now because i dont want to waste time and electricity switching on the computer just to blog. haha... wow. i've had a really great rest these few days. didnt go to school on thursday and friday. slack at home. =)
woah piang... have not blogged for so long i like, have nothing to say. hee.. dont know how to say what i have to say, to put it correctly. =D
but anyways... its like, my life has been really really blessed recently. as in, seriously. my family is becoming more and more like a dream come true. =) like the dream family i never had. and you know what... this joy inside of me, it cannot be destroyed!
and now i'm beggining to see the Lord work more and more in my life. i'm beggining to understand things more and more. i'm beggining to see things i've never seen before. and the feeling is just indescribable!
and i'm beggining to see more and more of His great love for me. =D and i'm falling in love with Him more and more, and i just cant help it but its great. hahaha! i mean, its a wonderful thing!
and i've learnt alot in a very short time. ever since the Teenzeal session with the alter call about the studies and family thing. when i left that service i just knew something was different. i felt it inside. i was touched. i just knew something was different when i walked out that day. =)
but anyway... its like two plus am already and i'm serving first and second tomorrow. so i think i shall be smart and go to sleep now. hahaha even though i have been resting alot the past couple of days, i still need rest to pass the day. =)
oh and by the way, starting next week i'll be seving third and fourth. =D i know i said likewise in the previous entry. but there were changes. however, i still praise God. i know why i'm around, and i know i have a destiny to fulfill. everything's great and blessed in His hands. and in His hands is exactly where my life is. and that's where its going to stay, for eternity!
but then again since i'll be on leave for most of the quarter, i think i would still be serving first because i think the "serve the service you are attending" thingy still applies. hahaha so i still get to be with my beloved gang! =D
blessed to be a blessing,
~BOK~
WE WILL DANCE ; 2:31 AM
