(: i want to watch The Lake House. i want i want i want. somebody please date me, NOW. before i get rather impatient.
okayy, praise and worship last night. to be brutally honest (hahah steve) i don't know. i really was expecting more.
and no, it's not as if i didn't experience a fresh touch from my Love, but i just.. never mind. Daddy knows. (: you don't need to.
but the funny thing is that, one my left was Jolene, and on my right was Pilly, and during the praise and worship itself, the three of us were actually suffering from VERY SEVERE back/shoulder pains.
and yes, it's those pain until you really want to just cry and faint, and we three very nearly did that.
talking to babu on the cab to supper, i found out that he could even 'feel' that i was going to faint, and he even nearly left his seat already!
okay but the funny thing is that, the three of us, when we looked at each other, we seriously were thinking to ourselves "wahh they all look so lost in worship! why am i the only one in pain??"
it was only after the thing ended, and the choir was back in Room1 that we actually realised that the three of us were like, going through the same thing at the same time!
hey wah lao that means our acting is pretty damn good lah! i mean, so freaking in pain but your friends still think you're doing fine? HAHAH!
for me, my left shoulder was hurting so darn badly i couldn't move the entire left side of my body, hip up. so my left arm was just stuck to the side of my body like a piece of damp seaweed.
(oh wow what a nice way to describe myself ah)
and i know that for Pilly and Jolene, they were also very much in pain! we seriously nearly wanted to faint already. i could feel myself swaying back and forth a little..
HAHAH then one kuku thing was that, because i was so in pain, i kept wanting to grab Pilly's hand, but her left hand (the one i could grab) was always up, near my back, so i couldn't!
but the thing is that, she also wanted to grab me because she was also really really in pain!
but oh wells. ((: i enjoyed myself, not just last night, but all the other times we had rehearsal and everything. (: even soundcheck at 3.45pm. (:
((: oh and i love my caregroup. ((: they really waved to me madly from where they were seated. ((: so cute!! and all my choir friends were like, "wahh Amanda, got fans already ah!"
=D yeay yeay! my caregroup loves me, and i love them love them love them toooo! (((: heee i really really thank God for this precious bunch of blessed ones.
(: after praise and worship, i went for supper with LingLing (qian de shen ying zhen hao ting! ahahahaha!), gege, babu and steve. yew tee okay, not 302. haiyohh. next time don't play okay! HAHAH.
=) but i had a really great time. hmm. HAHH i assure you i was not drunk, babu. what's there to get drunk on anyway! ;p
meepok ta, mai hiam! HAHAHAHA omg. why you tell me you say you dowan te kua, when you never tell me you dowan te kua? (oh oh okay juuuust kidddding! don't sue me!) must explain! HAHAH!
aiyahh thanks Daddy for supper. i haven't had supper for so long already.
anyway, i love Amy. (:
i love Huilin. (:
i love Nikki Ziselle. (:
BYEBYE.
WE WILL DANCE ; 10:59 PM
((: Himechan here is happy. so let's have a look at her pretty photos with some other Royal Priests who make Himechan really happy!
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(: precious Charis-and-Jesus, beautiful cai hua who has such a hunger for the things of God, ever so cutsie yuki. i really love these darlings.
my lovely princess anjo(: she is just so precious to me.
yes i'm from ngee ann caregroup, but that won't stop me from loving the Sp caregroup princesses too! (((:
princess siling, princess zhenling, princess margy!
yeay! we date every wednesday, thursday, and sunday! =D lovelove.
Silly Pilly Twin Powers!
thank You Jesus, for them in my life. ((: really really thank You. and Jesus, help me to NEVER qalal them.
=) and i never want to qalal You as well, because You forever kabad me, even if it's just whispered ramblings of complaint.
aishiteru Daddy.
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:06 AM
okay you know what!!! i have a hole in my foot! HAHAH okay i mean it's pain and everything but don't you kinda think its funny?
aiyah i accidentally kicked some stupid fallen branch when i was crossing the road outside my office. i had no idea it would be like that lah!
seriously, i thought the worst that could happen was i'd have some yucky scratches or a blueblack or something.. but when i sat down at the bus stop and looked down at my foot i got this huge shock ah.
yes you can ask steve, i was so shocked i called him and went like, "i have a hole in my foot. how now?"
HAHAH i mean it's not like HUGE but it's not tiny either. apparently my meat is still stuck on the tree branch? HAHAHA!!
ok i'm certified saddistic. aiyahh but cry for what also.. even though it was damn pain and even though i'm freaking scared to bathe now! but i still think it's funny.
k so i took bus all the way home, which took like almost an hour. so the blood dried already, but when i alighted to walk home, the strap of my heel was like, dunno how to explain.
but then the hole started bleeding again. so when i reached my corridor i just gave up and took my heels off, and walked bare-footed home! (:
i tell you the tears nearly burst out of my eyes when my mama was cleaning the stupid thing. HAHAH she kept pressing and squeezing it so hard! oh man. cos she thought there was something stuck inside.
but yah it was like filafala pain. =D but brave himechan didn't cry! ahahah but i was rewarded with ice cream!
aiyahh but until now it's still bleeding so i think i'll just let it bleed lah, until it's tired and stops. hahahah ok i'm so funny. oh well! thank You Jesus i can stand and walk properly by friday((((:
okok kena tagged by uncle muthu so let me do this thing. i know this entry's very long already but whatever! ;p
Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. Don't read the questions before you write, and tag 5 people to do the survey.
1 - steve kwa
2 - cherri ann
3 - nikki ziselle
4 - shawn goh
5 - desmond gin
6 - margaret
7 - natalie joyous
8 - samantha lim
9 - yongjee
10 - siling
11 - amy toh
12 - zhenling
13 - eng kee
14 - roy
15 - cai hua
16 - charis lin
17 - anjolene kaw
18 - jonathan liew
19 - jolene kang
20 - larry koh
Questions:
1. How did you meet number 14?
ngee ann caregroup(:
2. What would you do if you had never met Number 1?
woww. ahahah i wouldn't know alot of what i know today, i wouldn't know who to call when i get stalked, i wouldn't know who to call for any reason ranging from serious to total crap, i wouldn't have like one of the best friends that i have now.
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
OMG. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA i can't speak! HAHAHA!!!
4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
ermmm well.. DEFINITELY NOT. they both deserve super super wonderful Men of God, and both must be screened by me!
5. Describe No. 3.
((: woman of God, pilly, funny, super super pretty. lovely wonderful person whom i love to bits. she just puts a smile on people's faces. himechan.
6. Do you think no.8 is attractive?
ooooh yeah! ((: but she's my piece of hamm. ;p aiyah anyway she's taken LAH. =D
7. Tell me something about No.7
((: truly lives up to her name, Joyous. a very precious friend who knows who she is in her Daddy.
8. Do you know anything about no.12's family?
err. her sister's married! HAHAH
9. What is no. 18's favorite...?
hmmm. favourite...? oh yucks the fungus thing right jon! oh man!
10.What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
HAHAHH she already did. in fact, she's told me that she loves me countless times. (: guess what! i love her tooo!
11. What language does 15 speak?
english, chinese.
12. Who is 9 going out with?
errr. HAHHA we shall see.
13. How old is 16 now?
18? or is it 19? HAHAH so sorry sweetie, i still love you!
14. When was the last time you talked to 13?
sunday
15. Who's 2's favorite singer?
ehh me? HAHAH! actually i really think it's herself. am i right my dear? =D
16. Would you date number 4?
OMG NO PLEASE. babu is just this really unromantic guy. hahahah Jesus please teach him ok? hahahah sorry babu but it's true okay! and anyway even if he WAS more romantic i still wouldn't!!!
17. Would you date 7?
of course i would! ((((:
18. Is 15 single?
yyeeeessssssss (: but this one, the guy also must screen through by me yeay? =D
19. What's 10's last name?
KANG
20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 19?
HAHAHAH yes we do have a relationship. we are very much in love.
21. What school does 3 go to?
she's working(:
22. Where does 6 live?
ermm. HAHA somewhere far away from me!
23. What's your favorite thing about number 5?
((((: he's my gege. what can not be great? he's this guy who's just so so real and open, not afraid to be who he really is. (: a man of God who is constantly so hungry for the things of God. a precious and irreplacable gege who has blessed me so much more than he knows.
and no i tag
- margaret
- ashley
- HAMM
- des
- anjo
WE WILL DANCE ; 4:20 AM
((: okok, relax everybody. himechan here is okay already. she just needed some sleep and lots of loving from her perfect and sweetest Lover. (:
or let me correct myself. ;p this little himechan needed her eyes to be unveiled, so that she could see that Grace had always been there. (:
and that's exactly what she got; of course in the greatest overflowing abundance. (((: more than she ever ever ever expected to receive.
you know, when you ask for reassurance from Daddy, i'm telling you He really gives.
i'm learning to be like Gideon in the bible you know. (: i do quite want to be like him, so real with God, and so unafraid to ask even for silly things.
=) and seriously, i'm telling you, whatever it is that you want. reassurance, confirmation, love, wisdom, favour.
ask. just ask for it. (: you'll be amazed by the exceeding abundance in which He will give.
great expectations, remember? =) never be afraid to ask from the One who loves you beyond all measure.
JESUS PLEASE MAKE FRIDAY COME FASTER! ((((((((((:
my Jesus really really makes all things beautiful in my life. (: once again, He has left me speechless and amazed.
who am i that the King of the universe should have to drop all that He was doing just to give me a little hug of reassurance?
who am i that the Maker of the heavens and the earth should use His hands to wipe away my tears?
oh Jesus. (: oh such beauty, i could never fathom.
thanks my Prince, my LoveyPoo.
loveYou.
WE WILL DANCE ; 6:31 AM
Daddy teach me again why everyone always has to be so spiritual about everything everytime even when i'm just so fucking tired.
because sometimes, you just need a smile or a hug, and the only thing that you hear is Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus and it becomes so ordinary and so.. formula.
because sometimes it feels as if they're saying it for the sake of saying it, saying it because it sounds nice, saying it because that's what holy people say.
show me again how You could ever love me, because right now i just don't see how.
i need to swear. i need to scream.
oh fuck.
bye jo. i'm 55minutes into missing you. fly back to mama as soon as you can.
Jesus, i'm falling. catch me. ='(
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:52 AM
and i told her, "lean on Jesus like how the little girl leaned on steve. so at peace, so oblivious to anything that was going on around her. all she knew was that she had found comfort. and thats where she was going to stay. because we all need someone to lean on sometimes."
loveyoumargyhunnybunny. ((:
*all i want is, all i need is You, Jesus. (:
and i saw the beauty once again. (:
and yes, Chilli. (((: help is on its way, there is hope yet. =) hold on, hold on, and don't you let go now.
----------------------------------------------
jo i miss you too much, but you are going back to melb and i can't see you. oh Jesus look after her. my heart hurts to know that you're gone again. ): i can't type anymore. i just miss you jo. more than you know.
i really need a hug.
WE WILL DANCE ; 11:00 AM
((: thank You Sweetie Jesus for making today (and every other day too) so so good. loveYou.
so, after a week of secret planning and secret excitement and secret secrets, we finally did it.
and it felt so good.
oh shit and i realise this sounds so wrong. HAHAHAHAHHAHA.
aiyah you all think until where. i'm talking about a birthday surprise celebration here! to the pure things are pure you know. =D
(: funn. oh i mean alicia. HAHAH dearie it was really our pleasure and our privilege to plan the surprise for you. (: i'm just glad you were happy. loveyou.
so today, i
- ended work
- met steve to buy cake
- had nice nice dinner cooked by steve's mama
- slept
- went over to funn's
- arranged a hundred tea candles to spell "JESUS <3>
- lit them
- relit them
- got the candles on the cake
- lit those candles
- placed the cake in the heart of candles
- hid behind the curtain with samm des steve
- almost died of heart attack
- jumped out screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY
- took ten thousand photos
- ate
- watched tv
- cabbed back with my piece of Hamm
- laughed at her for something that happened in primary school......... (HAHAHAHAHHA ITS SO FUNNY)
i love alicia's parents(: thanks aunty and uncle for helping us with the "plan". (((: without the two of you we wouldn't have been able to do it.
thanks samm, des, jo, steve for being there and for being involved. (:
oh yah Pilly! you remember that time in choir when you accidentally msged the birthday girl about her surprise party? heeheee i did the same thing, just that this time it was part of the plan!
i "accidentally" smsed alicia to say 'omg jo how? i really can't make it on friday cos i've got a family thing. we really have no choice but to celebrate on saturday, like after campus. you'll rush down and we'll wait for her briefing to end then surprise her k?"
and alicia kinda thought it was real, and she complained to jo "oh man why is it always me.. it's gonna be another boring birthday again."
HAHAHA! ((: Pilly! all things work out for good! (: you inspired me with the 'wrong sms' thing! ((: loveyou.
alicia you are so funny. loveyou. (((:
photos will be up when i get them. =) i'm so glad we did what we did. a week of secrets and almost bursting was more than worth it when we saw your happy face, sweetie. (:
----------------------------------------------
* today when i was on the bus going out of Tuas, we passed some factory thing where they had the huge tower thingys with fire at the top.
suddenly the picture of Lord of the Rings, where Gandalf sent one of the hobbits (i think merry??) up to light the fire so that they could signal for help or something..
and the song playing on my mp3 was Hallelujah. then i just heard this voice, this voice so full of joy and excitement, yet so at peace.
and it whispered to me, and it told me, "help is on it's way Bok, there is hope yet."
and i wanted to cry right there on the bus.
thank You Jesus for always being with me. iloveYou. (:
-------------------------------------------
thank You for holding me in Your embrace
thank You my Father, i give You praise
You always calm my storms when i'm afraid
all i ever want is to see Your beautiful face
` i've never ever been alone. (:
WE WILL DANCE ; 11:41 AM
woww. Jesus just showed my something. i was reading my Pilly's entries, and the one that "caught" me was the one where she mentioned her dad sending her to work everyday.
and at that moment i realised that i do miss my daddy too, and i told God "hey, i want my daddy to send me to work too."
and you know, i just heard His still small voice, deep within my soul, and He told me, "He does."
(: and i knew. i just knew, like, all over again. the meaning of "I will never leave you nor forsake you" just refreshed itself.
and at that moment i knew, i really really knew, that all my life i've never been alone, not once.
many times we just bank on someone's physical presence so much that we think that if our friends aren't with us, that we are so lonely and so sad and so pathetic and so loser.
but why? i find that when i'm alone, with no one around me, i hear my Daddy's voice much clearer. somehow due to the fact that my sole concentration can be on Him and Him alone.
as in, you know, being with Godly fellowship is great, it's really wonderful, but how much more being with God Himself right.
i know that He's always with you, but to take time out to spend specially with Him, just with God, like, it's just me and You kind of thing.
and yes, like what Cheeky and i have talked about, in that simplicity of just crying out to Him, just worshipping Him, in that simplicity lies true power.
yes, going back to the heart of worship simply means going back to Jesus, leaving all worries, all cares and all the burdens of life at the Cross and going straight back to the loving arms of Jesus.
truly, cast your cares on Him, FOR HE CARES FOR YOU.
and yes, like what Pilly tagged, when we cry out to God we are worshipping Him. you see the connection between crying out to Him and casting your cares on Him?
it's beautiful, it really is.
and He's always with me. what i yearn for is not someone's physical presence around me.
yes, my caregroup is precious, yes, my choir friends are precious, yes, my poly cluster is precious. yes dearie, my brother in Christ is precious. but so are you.
and you know what. you can take all that away from me, and i'd still be the happiest little jumpy singing psalmist princess in the world.
because i'm never alone.
because Jesus is always with me.
because He never leaves me nor forsakes me.
because He loves me enough to let me spend time with other people who are precious to me.
(: i am never alone. i will never be alone. i can never be alone.
and yes, my Daddy does send me to work everyday! (((:
WE WILL DANCE ; 12:24 AM
Daddy, teach me to teach them in a nicer way. i really need to be more tactful aye? ;p
i know You know how, i know You know best
and since You know best, i will rest
if not, i will surely fail all the tests
wah wah wah, ho say liao
got Jesus then my life is BEST!
tong tong tong chainggggggg~
hahahaahahhahahaha omg did i just write that? yah i seriously need to sleep so BYEBYEGOODNIGHT.
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:14 AM
yes, finally i'm blogging. sorry lah, no connection in the office. =D i feel weird to be blogging again after so long.
but once again i'm reminded. blogging here is my right, because this is my blog! why should i feel weird/awkward/guilty?
praying in tongues is my blood bought right, so is hearing my Father's voice. just because i've been neglecting these gifts shouldn't make me feel bad when i start doing them again. ((:
well, work has been good, albeit a little boring at times, but i'm thankful for getting paid to like, write letters to my friends? HAHAH praise Jesus anyhow.
=) and i was the reason He gave up His life you know.
=) i'm coming back to the heart of worship, where it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus.
=) one day, Lord, one day. and hope does not disappoint.
thank You for calming all of my storms. thank You that You did it all for me. (: how great You are. how great You are, my Sweet Love.
*smiles in satisfaction*
i know, it's a messy, choppy, and very random and un-connected post. but see beyond. (: i know He sees my heart.
i'm coming back to the heart of worship(: and in that simplicity lies true power.
You make all things new, Daddy, all things new and beautiful for me. ((: and i can't help but want You more.
----> there are three kinds of people in the world. those who make things happen, those who see things happen, and those who go "what happen?"
HAHAH. ((: i'm held by Your love, upheld by Your strength. ((: there's no greater love than this.
i'm going to sleep. HAHA(((((:
* sorry if you're disappointed in me. i want to tell you but you never have time. it's not what it seems, really. we're just friends.
WE WILL DANCE ; 10:39 AM
matthew 15:25
but she came and worshipped Him and pleaded again, "Lord, help me!"
worship is powerful thing. 'nuff said.
* i loved the cab ride home.
-----------------------------------------
early in the morning
when i see Your shining star
and late in the evening
when You whisper to my heart
i call Your name
and You are there
with each day that passes
i know Your love for me
in the moments when i stand tall
in the seasons when i'm weak
i call Your name
and You are there
no other friend like You, my Lord
i know Your embrace
so i will lift my hands to You
i'll offer my song of praise
You are my constant Companion
my Helper and my Friend
You are the Maker of the heavens
You love me again and again
i call Your name
Your love for me will never change
----------------------------------------
Spirit wings
You lift me over all the earth bound things
and like a bird
my heart is flying free
i'm soaring on the song
Your Spirit brings
oh Lord of all, You let me see
a vision of Your majesty
You lift me up and carry me
on Your Spirit wings
------------------------------------
nobody knows how weak i am better than You
nobody knows all of my needs better than You
nobody has the power to change me
to what i was born to be
Jesus break through all my defences
empower me
empower me
like a rushing river flowing to the sea
Lord send Your Holy Spirit flowing out through me
till i'm living as Your child
victorious and free
send the power of Your love
empower me
nobody's eyes see through my soul better than Yours
nobody's love can make me whole, no love but Yours
nobody has the power to change me
the reach for eternity
Jesus be strong in my weakness
empower me
---------------------------------------
i'm coming back to the heart of worship, where it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus.
cos You're the only One who truly matters.
WE WILL DANCE ; 10:24 AM
Bok. stop acting already. if you're so irritated then just show it. since when were you the kind to act all nice and proper just because there are other people around. attitude then attitude lah. stop hiding. you're running out of masks to wear anyway. if people irritate you, why act all nice and cool when you just wanna burst and scream fuck. who cares what impression people have of you anyway. if you dare to feel that way, then dare to show it too. stop being such a shit, Bok.
but Jesus. i can't possibly get angry at every single little thing/person around me just because things don't go my way, or just because i don't understand. and i don't wanna be that way, only You know. i want to love them, Daddy. You know my heart, don't You? after all, You made me. You knew me before i even existed, but to You, i've always existed there, deep in the centre of Your heart.
Daddy i don't wanna wear a mask anymore. no more acting, no more pretending, no more hiding. who cares what the world thinks of me when the world itself is falling apart. break me, Lord. no more earthern vessel. let Your light so shine before all man, that they may see and know the glory of You. yes, Your light, not mine. You are the Sun and i am the moon with no light on my own, still You have made me to shine. i know i cannot be a light unless i turn my face to You.
Bok has since ceased to exist, for He rose from the grave to live in her heart, and He now reigns there as King.
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:20 AM
quote Dr. House's patient : winning every competition isn't the only way to make a difference.
quote Bok : being the centre of attention all the time isn't the only way to be happy.
quote Bok : being in a constant bad mood isn't the only way to make yourself miserable. in fact, it's one of the best ways to do so.
okayy Bok is a working adult so anjo don't complain. people busy, cannot blog or reply tags so often already. =D
Jesus loves me, i couldn't care less about anyone else. yeah, i couldn't care less about you. because He will care.
WE WILL DANCE ; 8:49 AM
just really wanted to blog about something that captured my heart today. ((:
*haaa oh no steve it's got to do with you AGAIN. =D
hahaha but no, it isn't about steve lah. he's just part of the illustration once again. (:
so we were on the train home after wildly searching for his shirts/tie/shoes/pullover for tmr.
and so you try to imagine this quite-mediumly-built guy, as in arms can see muscles without him having to flex and all, and yah quite tan (quite only okay steve. HAHA but okok fine it's acceptable), and when this guy doesn't smile sometimes he (sorry for the language) scares the balls out of some people.
and halfway through the train ride, this mother spies the empty seat beside our-dear-ol'-stevie-melons-bah-kwa, and she makes her oh-so-cutey-lil' daughter sit beside him.
and the mother could only get a seat at the opposite row (you know how MRTs are) so yeah the daughter was alone.
and guess what! (((((: so cute LAH!!!!!! she fell asleep against steve's arm of muscles. HAHAHA ok the way i put it so funny but aiyah! can you please see the beautiful picture that has been painted!
the picture of the little girl and steve was SO cute i tell you! there was this row of dudes opposite us, and they kept staring and whispering to each other, "so cute hor! wahh she's so cute leh! eh that girl is so funny! that guy so nice just let her sleep.."
you know, suddenly everything seemed so peaceful. (: this sense of love just filled me.
and i became the little girl, and steve was Jesus. (((: and everything was alright, because i was leaning on Him.
there is so much more to catch, but for now, just know that He loves it when you lean on His shoulder.
WE WILL DANCE ; 9:12 AM