are REALLY a GIFT from God :)

honestly, the past three months in Brightstar has taught me so so so much, and yeah, i have never once regretted stepping past those glass doors that click shut really loudly :) i am so glad to have had my contract extended twice :) :)

one thing for sure, working with kids have definitely taught me patience :p

i used to get seriously annoyed when for example you're in a shopping centre and you see a kid throwing a tantrum like a mad dog, rolling about on the floor and screaming as if he had to prove to the world that he actually had lungs.

but i've realised, hey, even kids have reasoning :) and though it might not be the most sensible thing to us adults (or.. older ones hahaha), but they have their reasons. (okay maybe with some exceptions haha)

after working with kids for the past few months, i realised that when i see a kid crying over what i thought was for no reason, i'd get more concerned now than i was before, like i would really want to know the kid's reason for crying :)

and also, another thing i've learnt is how to be a kid again :) how to laugh if you want to laugh and not keep it in, how to enjoy even the simplest things and be satisfied with the littlest of pleasures :)

sometimes i find myself being so kiddish when i'm out with my own friends, they don't even know what i laugh about sometimes because it seems like i spend so much time with the kids until i find what they find funny funny too! hahah :)

:) you know how easy it is to make a kid smile? :) just a silly face, a wink, a response, a tiny tap on the nose :)

so many times people think that the only thing that will make a kid really happy is like a toy, or maybe sweets and chocolates and maybe barney or spiderman.

but i've learnt that what means most to them is really, LOVE.

like what our supervisor always reminds us, give the kid an hour of your time, and he'll give you two hours of peace. but if you ignore the presence of that kid or fail to assure him that you're aware of his presence, when you need him to listen to your instructions, you'll get two hours of hell instead.

:) and it's so true. you can't imagine how loving kids can be :)

what makes my day every single day in school is just to see the genuinely happy and smiling face on even just one kid :) you know, when kids are happy, you can really really see the joy literally radiating and oozing from their faces and smiles :) and it's contagious!(howtospell)

another thing i've learnt from kids is, really, forgiveness.

one moment, edmund tan snatches the toy from aaron and they get into a huge fight resulting in aaron sinking his teeth into edmund and edmund sinking his nails into aaron, and ends with screams and tears and annoyed teachers.

the next moment, they're best friends again, playing with each other as if they were inseperable since birth :)

or you scold them for doing something wrong and the next thing you know, he's all wrapped around your leg like a koala bear, and the next thing you hear is just "teacher manda, i love you!"

:) i mean, yeah. kids are really people who know how to enjoy the moment, live in the moment.

learning to be a kid again, for me, is so much more than just learning how to have fun although yah, that is really important haha! :)

more importantly, of course, is that i've learnt to recieve love so readily.

i mean, you'll never see a child refusing a hug or not smiling (even if it's secretly) after being kissed on the cheek, or a child refusing to sit on your lap. okay maybe abused kids but aiyah you know what i mean right!

:) i love it you know, how my dear jeryl is so attached to me :) he loves sitting in my lap so much :) haha i lovelove playing with him :) i love it how isabel sweetie will stare up at me with those huge gigantic eyes, fully expecting me to carry her :) i love it how renee refuses to let go of my hand, or rather, finger :) i love it how jamiel even gets jealous when she sees me carrying other kids! i just find it super funny and amusing lah! :) i love how ruben always wants to sit beside me and help me carry the toothbrush tray "because it's very heavy" :) :) i love how daniel runs to me and flings himself into my arms every morning just to hug me and say "teacher amanda!" :) i love how kimi calls me "teacher panda" and giggles with delight every single time i touch her nose :) i love how my noah will run to me everyday to sing me 'tong hua', and i don't even have to ask :)

o man! i could go on forever about my kids! :)

but yeah, it's so amazing and lovely to see how easily and readily kids acccept love and attention. and for me, realising this has made me come to realise something.

that my Daddy King in Heaven, everyday, every single moment of every single day, He just can't wait to give ALL His attention to me, pour out every single drop of His love on me!

but how do i react to that? do i recieve it easily and readily? or do i shy away thinking that O maybe He has some, like, ulterior motive.

o come on amanda bok! the bible already says that Jesus is ALTOGETHER LOVELY, and He is PERFECT! what ulterior motive? this full-man-full-God knew no sin, did no sin, had no sin in Him.

every single thing about Jesus is perfect, even His motives.

and anyway, who said you always have to have a motive to love someone? :) why can't we just leave love as it is, plain and simple. why can't we just leave it at, when you love someone you just cannot help but want to be with him, want to talk to him, want his attention, want to do things for him, want to think about him, want to remember him, want to make him happy, to want the best for him :)

:) yupp. for now, for me, i'll leave love as this.

:) and thank you kids, for teaching me to dare to be loved all over again, for helping to find my way back into love :) :) yeah, Jesus wants to love me, to hold me, to have me sit in His lap, to look up at Him with big eyes and expect to be carried, to make me happy, to talk to me, to give me all His attention, to be with me, to pat me to sleep every night and even if i'm just taking a nap.

:) kids. my blessing.