from hence forth, i have made up my mind to be very careful about giving names to my children :) very very careful.
some weird (sad?) names that i have come across so far :
- ong su kar (wah lao!!!)
- annie hou (ops)
- lim zhui (surname Lim, name Zhui. ooommmgggg)
- lim gay san (how to go japan?)
- chew ser chim (what a cheem sir)
- lee kum hiah (now!)
- ann hock kee (i know his favourite sport!)
:) and remember to check the surname of the person you marry too.
sarah kang-khor.
no, she really exists lah! i just changed her first name :) for privacy :) but oh dear right.
or for example, amanda teo-bok. hahahahahah okay, i was just bored. i repent for laughing at people's names :)
WE WILL DANCE ; 8:14 PM
so i have to take everything that all twelve or thirteen or fourteen of you have to throw to me, and everything inclusive of good bad and ugly, and at the end of the day, i'm not even allowed to get things off my chest?
is that even fair?
it's like everything is my fault and everything i do is wrong. why don't you try to take my place if you think it's that easy?
i just needed to let it out :( is it really that hard to just listen?
for the record, i'm SORRY. like i always have to be.
Daddy, it's not supposed to be so difficult. i do love them, i just need an outlet. who else was i supposed to tell? huilin? gary? samchan? let me learn to listen too. i want to be able to just listen.
and c'mon mother. you know when i'm pissed off so you should jolly well know that you shouldn't ask me dumb questions.
yah fine, i'm just a big idiot with an attitude problem - AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAH THANKS AH.
jesus, i am rolling my eyes now and i am very angry so whatever it is however you do it i dont really give two hoots now but make it better before i get too tired and i burn out because this is not the way i am supposed to be living my bloody life it is not supposed to be like this. thank you for listening to all this crap.
WE WILL DANCE ; 7:51 AM
my blessings my swans :) :) :)
WE WILL DANCE ; 10:23 AM
if i'm not wrong, it has been about two weeks since i've gotten the proper eight hours of sleep in a day. the maximum number of hours i've had for a single day for the past two weeks is i think, six?
let's see. today, i'm just done with my productions proposal. and it's now 3.07am! but at least i don't have to get up early tomorrow :) my only appointment is lunch at 3.30pm, which is about 12hours away :)
saturday i couldn't sleep even though i was super super tired. in the end, i slept at around 5am and woke up at like 7.20am. yeah i was going for first service. :) after that i literally spent an entire day in suntec tower four :) doing publicity for our launch and having productions meeting.
friday i stayed over at cherri's. i was so so tired that when i reached her place, i bathed and fell asleep almost immediately on her bed without even waiting for my hair to dry. knocked out for about an hour before waking up and going abit mad over some productions issues until like 5.30am when we finally went to sleep. woke up at 11am and left for productions and campus which also meant i spent the entire day in suntec!
thursday after bible study, i went to grab a bite with some of my caregroup because i didn't eat lunch and dinner. reached home about 12am and went to bathe, after which i went online and started sending out emails and chatting with gary and cherri until 3am. woke up the next morning at 7.30am for a full day of work :)
wednesday after choir practice, went for dinner at the kopitiam because i only managed to grab one spring roll before that. dear dunny swaniee said i looked too tired so he blessed me with cash to cab home. :) reached home a little before 12am, bathed, went online, and started sending out ops stuffs until 2+am or was it 3+am?
tuesday after work, had productions meeting and launch practice, and filming. left office at 8+pm and went to have dinner which i didn't have appetite for. headed to starbucks with cherri, huilin, gibs and gary. discussed about productions until 10.30pm. reached home at about 12am and went online to clear some admin and ops stuff, and to manage the yahoo group hahah. selpt at 2am.
monday is my off day so yah :)
anyway, i said all that not so that you would pity me or feel sorry for me. i mean, yes, of course i'm tired, of course i feel abit worn out and sore.
but the thing is, i do have full office days at work every day. and never once have i felt sleepy while in the office :) the wonders of being in the house of God - literally in my case.
and anyway, all the productions and all is also for Arrow Ministry, also God's ministry :) and this just goes to prove right, that Daddy never never never shortchanges His servers :)
i have survived full 12+hour-days feeling totally energised and happy with a total of two hours sleep the previous night. no i don't do drugs and no caffiene has almost no effect on me.
what else but God? :) He sustains me. the Joy of the Lord is my Strength.
alrighty, i'm not saying that it's wonderful to lead a lifestyle like mine lah. also bad on my part that i keep procrastinating sometimes. but i really and sincerely enjoy all that i do :) honestly i love every bit of it.
i love being stretched while having to rush out productions to meet the deadlines and the standards and the expectations :) not in a saddistic way lah of course! i love finishing up my work in the office really fast and asking for more things to do :)
i love having June work to do when it's still only April, because i've finished April's and May's work :) i love pushing myself to see how far i can stretch those boundaries, to find out that i can do so much more than i thought :)
i love having Daddy King patiently sitting beside each and every single moment, and admiring and smiling at what i do :)
although many times i find myself irritating because of that perfectionist thing in me, which won't allow me to rest/eat/sleep until i'm totally satisfied with the standard of my work. it has to be up to my own standards of perfection, no matter how late it is, no matter how tired i am. i can even forget that i'm hungry :)
and my boss always scolds me for forgetting to go for lunch, or for coming back from lunch too early :) then in the remaining half an hour, she won't allow me to do any work and will keep insisting that i relax and just surf the net. favour or favour? :) :)
my colleagues are constantly asking me if i need any help or if i want them to help me buy anything :) esp uncle ban hong, oh i am super thankful for him! :)
thank You Jesus, for proving Yourself to be so real in my life. thank You that You take this perfectionist attitude and make it into something good. something that will benefit me and the people around me. help me put this gift to good use.
teach me to look after my body, which is Your temple, where Your Holy Spirit dwells. teach me to rest in You as i do my work, rush out proposals and designs and ideas. thank You that my inspiration is You, thank You that You are my creative wisdom :)
thank You Jesus Darling for giving me the boldness to ask when i'm not sure, to probe until i get an answer that i'm satisfied with, for giving me the courage to be real with others. Jesus, teach me to be accountable and responsible :)
Daddy King, make me a true Proverbs31 :)
alltheloveintheworld :) :) :)
WE WILL DANCE ; 12:04 PM
:) my Daddy King is practical man, and He is real.
i tell you, after a full day's work yesterday, then productions meeting and filming of announcements and more meeting which stretched till 10+pm, i was so tired.
add in the fact that servers/leaders meeting the previous night had stretched to quite a late time too, which meant that i got home quite late, which meant that i slept late too.
hahaha plus, having to send out urgent emails each night, and to plan and coordinate lots of operational stuff :)
don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining :) in fact i love doing all this. hahah don't ask me why but i just do :) but the point is that no matter how much you enjoy something, you will get physically tired after some time.
so i was really tired.
but guess what. the moment i walked out of suntec towards the bus stop while debating intensely with myself on whether or not i should just cab home since i was so tired anyway, a red mazda drove past me and honked.
then, it jam-braked and reversed (HAHAH so dangerous loh please) and the car window wound down and i heard someone shout "BOK!"
yay! my saviour! hahahah, my very present help in time of need :)
johnny and his red mazda! :) hahahah yay! and just like what twe talked about on the car, i'd not seen this guy in ages, and the first time i see him after such a loooong time is actually just after he got his car and liscense back :)
woww please :) i was so so so thankful because i was really super tired :)
so, in the end, what should have been a 'lonely' one hour bus ride home took twenty minutes :) don't even start comparing a crowded, squeezy and smelly bus to the comfort of a red mazda 3 man.
hahah so yeah, i said all this to say that, hey. God really is faithful :) even in the smallest and most practical of ways :)
Daddy i love you!
see, He places me at the right place at the right time, i don't have to try to get there :) :)
WE WILL DANCE ; 7:44 PM