edit(030806 1011h): bok is in her office and there is no interent connection. she says not to worry. she isn't thinking of killing herself. she was just recounting something from sec 1. jesus has died for her and she will not need to die. the only die she will ever think of is dyeing her hair. -oinkypig --------------------------------------------------------------------
a little girl, crouching by the side of her bed, all alone. her tears fell like the rain, collecting at her chin and wetting her knees.
the tears blurred her vision, but the silvery glint of the small blade lying on her right palm still caught her eye. her chin quivered.
looking up into the darkness, she ensured that no one was around to watch her.
the tears fell faster as she gripped the blade firmly with her shivering fingers. slowly and steadily, she raised her left arm and set it on her knee.
she gazed down at her wrist, scattered with thin red lines. her entire left arm, she realised, was covered with those horrible thin red lines.
her lip turned up in a scoff, "there are so many already, what difference would a few more make?"
she paused for a few seconds, as if unsure of what to do next. then, like a clockwork toy, she pressed the blade against her skin.
as sudden as lightning in the sky, a strong voice, which was, apparently, audible to her and her alone, sounded out.
"Amanda! Amanda!"
her eyes widened, and she jerked her head up in shock to look around her. then she heard the voice speaking again.
"lay down the blade," the voice said. "do not hurt yourself in any way. I have not with held even My Beloved Son from you."
she raised her tear-stained face to look out of the window and towards the dark night sky.
then she saw it. she saw Love, hung upon an old rugged cross. when He saw her, His lips turned up into a smile which erased every hurt from her heart.
such peace she felt, such serenity, oh such love that surrounded her and took away her fears. such power that swept across her, such passion that encompassed her.
at that moment, time seemed to stand still as she gazed into the gentle eyes of Love. just by His gaze she knew that she meant more than anything in the whole wide world to Him.
His gentle gaze was full of passion, full of care and love for her, and it made her feel like she was the only one He ever loved, it made her feel like a Princess all over again.
His gaze poured emotion back into her heart, poured strength back into her body, poured love back into her empty soul. she could feel again, love again, trust again, fly again, live again.
His gaze set her free, and in an instant she was dancing in open fields with bright flowers and fresh grass everywhere, calm rivers and apple trees.
she was dancing under open heavens, in the arms of Love Himself. she lifted her head to see the blue blue sky and the white cotton candied clouds, and a beautifully unbroken rainbow. (: the biggest she'd ever seen.
a smile formed on her lips, and soon, laughter bubbled from within. she could feel it, she was joyful once again. (: in the arms of Love, she knew no fear, no worry, no condemnation, no rejection.
then she was back to the foot of the cross. once again, she lifted her gaze to look upon Love, and smiled a teary-eyed smile at the One who gave His all for her.
He tilted He head and smiled back.
then, He lifted His head and cried out, with a loud and triumphant voice, "IT IS FINISHED!"
