Monday, March 06, 2006 ;
((: yah yah i'm so bored lah aiyahh. i love the hols. HAHAH. whatever.anyways i tell you people something silly k. (: DON'T laugh at me. AHAHAHHA. oh man. can you just pls see how bored i am? can someone plsplspls DATE ME! hahaha!!okok now now breathe..so, last night i was at the playground (oh i just realised the playground directly behind my block is quite nice for blindmice yeah) and stevie was trying to teach me this stunt.my goodness. i mean, i know i'm afraid of heights but.. THAT afraid? hahah!! i felt so silly myself, but seriously, i was damn scared to do it.it's some flippy thing where you hang on for dear life on the pole thing and flip yourself over, thereby enabling yourself to get over the 'obstacle' landing safely on your own two feet.so yeah.. we did that on the bridge thingy. and like, frankly speaking it wasn't that far from the ground if i might say so myself. but you know, when you look at things from the ground and from the top, it's a TOTALLY different story altogether. (HAHA i'm just finding excuses can)so anyhow. for the life of me i couldn't make myself get my foot off the bridge. seriously i was too scared. hello! i was trembling pls!hehe might sound silly to you but nvm. at least i learnt sth. initially i wanted to give up. as in like i won't die if i don't learn it what.. but you know.. haha! scared pai seh..then steve kept telling me that if i didn't get it over and done with right then and there, it'd bother me for a long time to come. and i knew he was right lah.yeah lah i have no idea how much time i wasted trying to calm myself down (i think i don't want to know also. HAHA) but in the end i did do it. (: it was fun. it was cool. hahahah one more new trick to execute during blindmice sessions huh. =D but the thing is, it was so silly of me to fear, to worry. what was i so afraid of anyways? steve was always there for me. HAHA if i really panicked and let go, he'd be at the bottom to catch me. and it's so friggin' LOW!!! can never die one even if i somehow by some miraculous chance landed on my head. why was i that scared? laughs.. you want the answer? i'll tell you. it was WRONG FOCUS. yes, just two words. it's that simple. i was focusing on the (not-very-high)height.. focusing on all the what-ifs. focusing on my own fear.
focusing on everything that could go wrong when actually the chance of anything going wrong is like 1% and less. HAHAHA.
and you know, that night, steve was kind of like Jesus. ((: [ brudder. don't zuai okay! it's just an illustration yah. hahahah next time i'll be the one stunning you with new stunts!!! ] he made sure it was safe to do before letting me try. he stood at the bottom, waiting to catch me if ever i should fall. he reassured me. he waited for me, coming down to my level. he was patient, he was kind. you know!! can you see it! ((: yes, that's my Jesus! HAHAHAH the only difference is that steve was MEAN. ahahha. laugh lah taunt lah tease lah! people scared of heights okayy! =D babuseng. (: but thanks LAH. ((: [ hahahaha now we must teach gege! ]but then again, steve was also right about another thing. "i bet you right now God is up there laughing at us loh!" HAHAHA i think so too.
and i tell you He was up there telling all His angels "see! see that darling adorable girl? ((: THAT'S my daughter. and she's the one who never fails to BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY."
so yes. i don't really care if you understood all my ramblings or not. hahah i'm just happy that even something so so simple can impact me so much, teach me and touch my heart so much.
you know. (: i can and i wil conquer EVERY fear. but no, not alone. (: i'll conquer them one by one, with my Daddy God holding my hand. ((:
watashiwa honto ni shiawase!!! (:
WE WILL DANCE ; 12:28 AM
