Monday, August 16, 2004 ;

aye sheet lah.. ok she really has a problem ok. how many times must i tell her. math is NOT my life. and still she insists that i should only be working hard for math. its not like my midy-rs arent proof enough that i cannot afford to neglect other subjects as well. i may have improved in math, but i did badly for alot of the other subjects that i should have done well for. and SHE was the one who was so unhappy about that ok. hello.. i've already finished the math homework lah! now what.. cannot do anything else except math is it? fine! i devote my life to math lah! and fail everything else also dont care just do math lah! as long as i get distinction for math its enough is it? fine lah! what the shit! what the f***! i mean. its not like other subjects are not important lah! i know math is important. who the mama hell doesnt know that is damn stupid lah! i know its important. but so what. it doesnt make the other subjects any less important. it doesnt make literature any less important. i already haf a shit f***ed up teacher for lit. if i dont work myself i really will end up getting an F9. and then SHE'll be the one who kills me. but then again, SHE's the one who wants me to devote my friggin life to math. so what.. she expects me to not do anything but math, and still get A1 for everything, including math. dont be a shithead mom. that friggin is NOT going to happen. shit man. what's your problem?! its not as if YOU did so well in school. you didnt even make it past secondary school may i remind you. crazy ass. b****. what is wrong with you? why keep attacking me? cos i'm not your ONLY son right. shit. i'm super pissed. shit. i cant stand it. shit shit shit. so fine.. i'll just stick to doing math. and fail everything else. that's what YOU want right. so i'll give it to you! maybe, just maybe. that would make you a LITLLE happier with me yah? i hope. everyone else is better right. except your own daughter. of course. annabelle's perfect. so is aaron. yeah.. it makes sense you know. so that leaves amanda to get the shit for everything! YAY! isnt that just so great! wow! cool huh. well shit its not. cos you're not amanda. and i am. and it sucks ok. what the hell. go ahead. just keep screaming at me. one day when i cant stand it anymore.. come on man. i'm human too. shit. maybe if you just stopped screaming everyine will be a little happier and your son would like you the least bit more. what's wrong with you? too much influence from your husband? shit. i know you're human. i know you want me to do well. but what you're doing just isnt going to help. shit why am i saying this here? not as if she could ever learn enough about computers to be able to come see this. ah shit. forget it. everythings cool. i'll just.. keep it in. everything's fine. it's all great yah. :) smile~ i'm happy. very. so, i shall go and do math! that excites me. the very thought of math puts a smile on my face! HAHA.

~BOK~

WE WILL DANCE ; 1:30 AM