Wednesday, October 26, 2005 ;

on sunday, steve asked me.. why do i care so much about being right to my mom.

well, i have an answer.

if the whole world hated me, if nobody liked me.. if all my friends left me one by one. it wouldn't hurt as much.

but this isn't just anyone man. this isn't just someone i met on the streets. it's more than that you know. this is my freakin' mother.

her acceptance, her unconditional love, it just means more than friends, more than grades, more than material things.

and sometimes, i just need to know that i am her daughter in whom she is well pleased. i just need that assurance.

sometimes before i leave the house, and she tells me that i'm gonna have a good day, and that everything will be alright. and i really believe that.

when she told me that i did well despite my suckshit results, i felt so loved i wanted to cry, cos i realised that what i was feeling then was quite a foreign thing.

i guess sometimes, friends aren't everything, though i try to convince myself that they are. at times i just need to know that she loves me for who i am, and whatever i do she'll always love me.

i guess i just don't know anymore.

Jesus, love me now, more than ever before. i need You.

cos i can't do this on my own.

` why are tiled walls so much harder than concrete walls?!

WE WILL DANCE ; 11:47 AM