Saturday, September 24, 2005 ;

i hate when you always blame me for everything.

i hate how whatever i do is always wrong to you.

i hate how you always just assume stuff about me.

i hate that you never see the good in me.

i hate how you always shout at me, and he can get away with anything and everything.

i hate how you always want to and act as if you know everything.

i hate how you want to always be in control of everything.

i hate when you never listen.

i hate when you're irritated with me.

i hate when you believe other people, who aren't even related to you, more than you believe in me.

i hate that i'm never good enough for you.

i hate it all, because it hurts.

it hurts so damn bloody much that you'll never understand. i hate you because you never understand and that hurts. i hurt. i may be a teenager but i damn freaking hurt too. hurt. yes, hurt.

i'm real and i have emotions just like any other fucking adult. just like any other fucking parent.
teenagers are humans too.

and i hate how you want to know everything but you never listen to anything. and i hate how you then blame me for not knowing. you blame me for not understanding when you don't even listen.

you just blame me for everything and i hate that. i hate how you think that you can just use me like a robot, like a doll, to live the dreams that you wanted to live out but couldn't.

cos i'm not you, mom. i'm not you at all, and i don't wanna be you. i just want to be me.

even when i shut up. even when i don't argue. i'm still wrong. whenever i don't smile, i'm wrong because i'm "showing you attitude". i'm not a fucking clown, for God's sake. i'm just human.

i'm just a kid.

and this kid is just so tired. tired of punching the wall. tired of crying herself to sleep. tired of listening to shouting and nagging. tired of always taking all the blame. tired of hurting.

Jesus loves me.

WE WILL DANCE ; 5:18 PM